Are you a social angel, a charismatic grace gliding across an ocean of people? Or are you one that thrives when alone? or Maybe it’s both. I question a lot of things internally and there are those rare days when those thoughts find there ways onto a page. I am socially awkward. In truth I write because I don’t know how to speak to people, I become self conscious, nervous or worried that no one would understand me because I tend to see the brighter side or a wiser side to situations. I like to think I’m not like most people my age, I’m carefree yet serious, deep and almost childlike. Now I don’t need to be around people all the time, but after months, actually after a year and some change of no friendship, of nothing growing becoming more I think I have reached my limit.
I’m 26 and most people my age have careers or have that “glamorous” or at least is seems that way, night-on-the-town lifestyle, or maybe they have no idea what they want to do for the rest of their lives.- a millennial life crisis. (this is where I am) I married at of age of 24, I have a step son and a 2 year old, I don’t have a night out on the town, though sometimes, it would be nice to just be with my girls for few hours. I live in the state of Michigan and they all live in North Carolina. So It’s very lonely. I find myself frustrated and irritated all the time. I can’t talk to my husband about women things, he wouldn’t be able to get out of the door fast enough, nor would he understand. I love him but he is a man. So instead, I spend an unhealthy amount of time alone in my head. Or ignoring the problem, which never works, for any one thinking of doing it.
Currently I am taking a psychology course for an online High School diploma program. I dropped out of High school when I was in the 11th grade, not because of pregnancy but due to certain circumstances and depression. I’ll elaborate more on that in another post, if you’re interested. In Psychology, I am learning about social psychology and mental health and how they connect. Social relationships influence our mental health. Whether that be work or casual friends and there are different ways to interact with them of course.
The course is still new to me and there is so much information that it takes time to sink in. But all in all, I’m in a panic because I miss my friends, I miss being around people that I can connect with. I feel like It’s so hard to make friends nowadays, unless you’re in school, or working or regularly go to church. Even in church it’s difficult for me to make friends. Again, I spend way to much time in my head. I know that Jesus is my friend, He’s my best friend, but I can’t physically see His face, should I feel guilty because that should be enough?
Was there ever a time when you felt like you needed someone to be around, someone to talk to, familiar or unfamiliar? Or maybe you don’t you need social interaction. Maybe you thrive better alone, a ghost riding the winds. Tell me in the comments section below. I want to know your thoughts.